I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Alive.
So much puke
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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