A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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