yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
