All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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