if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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