idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
