nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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