The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
