You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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