Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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