if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
