Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
