He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
