It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
