so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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