Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
