jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
