I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
