My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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