Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
