BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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