Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
