I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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