She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
