i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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