so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
