I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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