i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize