i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
