worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
