She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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