dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize