there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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