Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
