I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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