Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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