How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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