if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
