Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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