Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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