I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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