I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
