Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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