Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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