She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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