kristin has been a bad kristin
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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