the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
