sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
