wrigley field is MILF paradise
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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