I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
