Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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