How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
