She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
