Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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