hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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