I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
