you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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