batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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