I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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